


Father's Day

by SexySpoonsWillRuleUsAll (dainochild)



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack, Incest, M/M, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-06-22
Updated: 2009-06-22
Packaged: 2017-11-14 10:44:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/514403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dainochild/pseuds/SexySpoonsWillRuleUsAll
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Let's give Hoho-bastard a heart-attack he'll never forget." EdVy, AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Father's Day

**Author's Note:**

  * For [qschopsticks](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=qschopsticks).



"Ed."

Groaning, Edward Elric pulled the blanket over his head. He didn't know what time it was, but he knew it was summer vacation and goddammit he wanted to sleep.

"Eddieee…"

He shoved approximately at the source of the voice. Sadly, his reward for that was having himself pulled up by his arm and pulled into someone's arms. This someone was covered in thin muscles, pale, and just as topless as Ed himself. Dread sinking in, Ed glanced up into purple eyes framed by green dreadlocks.

"Mornin' shrimp."

"…aah!" Ed cried, leaping away from his half-brother. "What… you… AAAH!!"

"You were much happier last night," Envy cooed, before breaking into a snicker.

"WHAT AR –"

With a hissy 'shh', Envy slapped a hand over Ed's mouth. "Listen up, Edo. It's Father's Day, and I've got an idea which'll give Hoho-bastard a heart-attack he'll never forget." His grin turned psychotic. "You in?"

Every Father's Day, Ed and Envy would compete to see who'd give Hohenheim the most annoying present. They had to give him something, otherwise Trisha would get angry. And, as she was incredibly sweet, kind, and generous, when she did get angry, she really was terrifying. Hohenheim took it all in good humour, but Envy took it very seriously.

And Envy's ideas were always hilarious.

"…definitely," Ed agreed.

"C'mon upstairs," Envy said, before grabbing Ed's arm and dragging him to the living-room.

"H-hey, shouldn't we –"

"Shh!" Envy hissed again, shoving Ed down onto the couch. "Hoho-bastard'll be up anny minute…"

"En, what's your idea?"

"You'll know in a minute…"

"Envy, I want –"

In the hallway, the floorboard creaked. Swearing, Envy jumped onto the couch, earning a yelp as he landed on Ed's legs. Before the blonde could start shouting, Envy straddled and pinned him to the couch, and as the door opened, pressed his lips roughly against Ed's.

There was silence. Envy pulled away with a smirk, and the silence continued.

"…I already knew about you two," Hohenheim said, before walking into the kitchen to make coffee. "Better luck next year," he called, as something of an afterthought.

"WHAT?!"

"Aw, damn, now he thinks we're incesty-gay," Envy sighed. Ed couldn't help but think his tone wasn't even remotely disappointed. "Better keep up the act."

"WAIT YOU –!"

Envy kissed him again.


End file.
